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The meeting sometimes ends with a rousing sing-along, maybe from our own song books.  If we are lucky, we might have at least one of our members who is an accomplished musician.  In one group we actually developed a harmonica-trio for a while. This all helps to build up the souls of the men, so we call this our “soul work”.

Our meetings do not have a religious or other intent, save to just socialise and befriend other men, and simply show our care.  Our volunteers usually come away from each meeting knowing in their hearts that they have made a genuine difference in the lives of other men who relish the male friendship and support.  Sometimes we ourselves wish it was Circle of Men day every day!

Heart Work and Soul Work

Although a Circle of Men meeting is very informal, it does have a clear purpose.  It usually commences with a check-in period where everyone present shares briefly about how life has been for us in the past week.  This can lead into focusing on one or two situations where a man or men, may be encountering a tough time, whether through sickness, grief or just the struggle of living.  Alternatively it is often the case where something wonderful needs to be celebrated.  This part of the meeting is aimed at providing group support, from which a sense of brotherly community is established.  Oh yes, most of us become very liberal with our touching – yes apart from strong handshakes, we also have no trouble with giving a loving ruffle of the hair, or an arm around a shoulder, or a great big bear hug.  We call all this the ‘heart work’ of the Circle of Men.  One of the skills we have to polish up for our heart work is to learn to listen to, rather than talk at.

After this, time is then given over to informal talk, yarning, or we all love sharing jokes and funny stories in the group, which is usually accompanied by a snack and possibly a beer.  We might get our elders to share a part of their lives such as their family photos, and we may do the same.  We may here about the jobs they have had in their lives, or their times in the war. 

Creating an environment for the wellbeing of men in our community